Reflections on Ruth Wagner -- my beloved mother I am Suzanne, Ruth's oldest child and I spend a lot of time in my work doing public speaking. This is the hardest talk I have ever written or given. I want to thank you all for your sympathy and support for me, my sister, my Mom and the rest of my family. It is so difficult to sum up 86 years and such a long and rich life in a brief reflection. Some of the things people have said or written in the past few days capture some of her essence: o She was amazingly and incredibly strong the strongest person I ever met o She was a force to be reckoned with o She was the definition of resilient o She grasped life with both hands until the very end o Her wit will live forever; she always made us laugh o She was such a special lady and one smart and well-informed woman o She was wonderful; a fantastic spirited person o She Lit up a room and her appreciation for the arts was truly inspiring! o She was an incredible woman and such a fighter o She was one of a kind o She had an indominable spirit . And indeed it will live on Mom was born in Canada during the depression and lived in Calgary until she moved to NY at age 21 to follow her dreams as a ballet dancer. She never moved back home but remained a Canadian citizen until the end. From her childhood she shared stories of the Calgary stampede, clothes made of flower sacks and incredible loving parents and big sister Joan. Her dad was a union organizer and the President of the Canadian Trades and Labor Council and I think he and her mother were a little bit communist as mom said that she and her sister were not allowed to attend church. One of my favorite stories was her telling how she and her friend Audrey would go to a beer parlor and then sneak off to church afterward, because it was ok to go to a beer parlor but not to church. Mom was bold and courageous as a young woman in the early 1950s when she bought a car and drove cross country to move to NYC with a friend. She lived in the Bronx, studied ballet at American Ballet Theater with Edward Villella and worked as a bookkeeper in advertising and hospitals to pay the bills. She met my dad, Nick in 1959 and I came along in 1961 which put those ballet dancer dreams on hold. But she loved and frequently danced the lindy with my dad. They often cleared the dance floor because they were the best! Ruth was a lifelong patron of the arts, public radio and television and a music enthusiast. I have many memories of attending concerts with her from Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra when I was a teenager, to numerous productions at Carnegie hall and Lincoln center to see fabulous artists and productions including Lang Lang, Gustavo Dudamel and Marilyn Horne. Our last concert was just a week ago where we saw Yannick Nezet Sequin and Joyce DiDonato, which was absolutely beautiful. She got to perform again in her late 40s when she and my sister Annette took dancing lessons together. As you can see from the picture we have up from one of their recitals, even then she could still kick her leg over her head. I am not sure that I could ever do that! Later in life, she fell in love with country music and attended the annual fan fare festival in Nashville for about 15 years. I had the good fortune to go with her a few times, awakening in me a love for country music that I never expected to have. Mom also loved to travel and especially loved Paris, Barcelona, Victoria, Seattle and Nashville and we had many beautiful trips together. Mom also loved a good political discussion and telling you that her views were right and why you were wrong. She watched MSNBC almost constantly during the last years of her life, loved Rachel Maddow and had plenty of opinions about the current political situation in Washington. They are not suitable to share at this time but suffice to say that she was fully engaged to the end. Mom was also an incredibly hard worker and only stopped working full time as a bookkeeper about 3 years ago, in spite of having had ovarian cancer for the past 13 years. She continued working with a few clients right up until the week before she passed. She said she never wanted to retire and I think she really meant that. But ultimately, her body was worn out and she is now officially retired, which I am sure is totally p*ssing her off! Mom had a tremendous fighting spirit and overcame numerous challenges in her life starting with being confined to a bed for a year with rheumatic fever when she was a child. We lost my father in 1993 and then my brother Ronald in 2002. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2007 and overcame all odds by surviving for 13 years! In January of this year, she broke her leg while we were away in Provincetown to celebrate the new year. She had emergency surgery and was in intensive care for 2 weeks at Boston Medical Center. While no one expected her to survive that, she recovered and was able to walk again by this summer. About a week ago, she came down with pneumonia and sepsis and her body could not fight anymore. In spite of all this time being sick, the end came quickly and thankfully she didnt suffer too much. She finally let go. Moms sense of humor was reknowned and she loved a good hearty laugh. Since the surgery for the broken leg of course required numerous blood tests, she named the team that came to draw blood, the BMC Blood suckers. When they came to see her to do the draws, she loudly stated that the BMC blood suckers are here! During all the pre-op testing on her body, she frequently asked if the test would "hurt the baby"? While my sister and I were caring for her this year, she frequently stated that she was going to report us to the State if we forgot to bring her something or neglected some aspect of her care, like giving her an inch and a half of wine instead of an inch. Her favorite line was, I am calling (or have already called) someone about this. Since my Dad worked the 4-12 shift, her nightly routine always included waiting up for him and watching late night comedy starting with Johnny Carson, then David Letterman and still included Stephen Colberts monologue. If we let her stay up, she would watch James Cordon too. She laughed and made us laugh until the end. Mom was utterly dedicated to her children and exposed us to many ideas, influences, the arts, travel and sports. She gave us everything she had and we will always have that. She loved her grandchildren, Colleen, Kathleen and Victoria with all her heart and her eyes lit up whenever they came into the room. And she loved my brother-in-law Tom like her own son. Her dogs Cody and Spencer spent pretty much all day every day with her this past year and gave her so much love and comfort while she was home so much. It is hard to let her go but we must. We will always have our love for her, her love for us and all the memories we share. Now she will be with my father Nick, my brother Ronald, my brother Nick, her sister and her parents, and her dog Buddy, making them laugh and of course, debating politics and correcting them when they are wrong. I wish them luck with that. I am so grateful that her nephews Joe and Michael from Canada, my sister-in-law Lois and nieces Denise and Kristi could be here as well as all of you. We so appreciate you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your sympathy and supporting and comforting us in our grief. I know that Mom would not want us to be sad (well maybe just a little) but she would want us to take her spirit and her love and continue to pursue rich full lives filled with joy. A quote she loved and that I think reflects her spirit was: This is the day that the lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! I love you Mom and thank you for all the gifts you have given us and the phenomenal journey with you. May you rest in peace.